Dating in L.A. Sucks. We Did the Math. Illustration by Patti Andrews The Preamble
Relationships are difficult. Relationships in Los Angeles are harder. Possibly the 405 would be to blame for canceled dates? Maybe Peter Pan Syndrome stops connections that are substantive? Irrespective of the main cause, single Angelenos are approaching the relationship game with apathy in the place of intent, and that’s unpleasant. If you want proof, think about the following imagined—but all too recognizable—interaction, which we’ve scored for a true points system. Study, take in, then function as modification you want to see into the world that is dating.
Illustration by Patti Andrews
The Preamble
It’s a prototypically perfect L.A. time, and you’re at a coffee that is third-wave Eightfold in Echo Park, possibly the Boy & the Bear in Redondo Beach—reading David Sedaris’s me personally Talk Pretty One Day. “Great guide,” some body says (+50 no matter whom stated it, because yes, it’s an excellent guide). You appear up and discover what you should determine being a person.␝ that is ␜good-looking Let’s call them Hot Stranger. a covert look reveals that Hot Stranger’s left hand is devoid of a marriage band (+10, that has the vitality to be a home-wrecker?). “I understand, right?” you say. “Are you a fan of Sedaris?” “I am,” Hot Stranger claims (-15, most likely a lie). “Dress family in Corduroy and Denim is their most useful work in my estimation.” (+100, obviously perhaps perhaps not lying; -100, demonstrably perhaps maybe perhaps not Sedaris’s best work). You introduce your self; Hot Stranger presents themselves; you shake arms (+25, strong handshake). The barista is heard by you yell out a purchase, and Hot Stranger says, “Ohp! Be back” that is right+15, the onomatopoeia “Ohp” betrays Hot Stranger’s Midwestern origins, and Midwesterners are often nicer than many people). Continue reading